(27March, 2015)

A slow exhale –
The smoke seeps out.
Every pore of your body reaches out,
To grab it back
Hold it for more one second,
Enjoy it – savor it,
As if it would bring pleasure –
By just holding it in.

Your hands clench,
The fingernails want to feel the pulse
Of the white tube of paper and tobacco,
As it burns slowly,
The mix of nicotine, ash, paper and tobacco
Throbbing so slightly in your hand.

The light of the street lamp,
Hides your face partly –
Shielding one half of your emotions,
Shows just the half-crooked smile,
But hides the grimace of pain in the other half.

Inhaling and exhaling –
Your hear the shuffle of footsteps,
A man rushing home,
To light a fire, warm himself and his heart,
As he waits for his loved one to appear.
He walks by – looks
And nods, somewhat blankly
Tries to connect,
But then – walks past
And vanishes into the darkness of the empty street.

The sounds of a car –
Pumping invisible smoke, carbons out of its tailpipe.
Whizzes by –
The driver, clutching the steering,
Turning – avoiding little potholes on the street,
Missing – but catching a few.
The water splashes,
Lands on my feet,
Drips like leftover rain from my shoes,
And then disappears –
As a parched earth opens its arms
To satisfy it’s thirst from the little droplets.

Looking up –
I watch the smoke from my lungs,
Disappear too –
Into the dead of the night.
Hides from a moment,
Clouds my vision,
The reflected brilliance of the sun,
From the millions of stars,
A cut moon –
Wondering if they would be able to see me again.
Pondering it all
As the smoke fills me again and I exhale,
Hiding everything – the grimace, the lost soul hurrying away,
The brilliance of stars and the cut moon.

I ponder – alone and wait,
Look through the dark street and shadows,
For her – she has been gone long;
Far too long.
Wondering – if she would bring back love or pain,
Whether she would light up seeing the half lit face of the smile
Or she would distance seeing the half hidden face of the grimace.
Or will she walk by,
Now not recognizing me – After these long moments apart
And hurry into the shadows,
Wiping memories, old tears, past joys and moments of laughter
And find herself on a new street, new street lamp and a new smile.
I stand – and ponder alone.
The smoke still following its rhythm of exhaling and inhaling,
The white tube still throbbing and burning –
As the stars, the cut moon, the lone man, the car all move by –
Also looking for a new street, and a new destination.

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